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1 Very Palpable Hit (1verypalpablehit)


July 10, 2011


aim: 1verypalpablehit


Ottawa, Canada


June 15, 2011


Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info


Ovarian Cancer


high-grade serous ovarian cancer (sub-type of epithelial)


June 28, 2011


Stage 4


07


Grade 3


Yes


Omentectomy, Lymph Node Removal, Hysterectomy, Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy


Taxol (Paclitaxel), Carboplatin (Paraplatin)


The losses of my future and a good deal of my present.


You are as much about what you don't do as what you do.


Don't hang back. I love knowing you're thinking of me and still want me around.


supraclavicular (aka scalene) lymph nodes, both right and left; pelvic lymph nodes; abdominal lymph nodes; fallopian tube.


Help doing our kitchen reno


Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope
http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1242519&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fovariancanada.org%2fWalk-of-Hope%2fHome


They all want my tissue.


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Posts: 114
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1 Very Palpable Hit's Cancer Blog

5 Months Post-Chemo: No evidence of recurrence or metastatic disease

This is what I expected at yesterday’s visit. A clean bill of health. Well, can I say that really? No perceivable cancer… no evidence of recurrence or metastatic disease to be seen on the CT scans of the pelvis and abdomen. That hard inguinal lymph node from January is gone, too (my find). 5 months from the last chemo dose, and still no signs of return. This is great!

So, it was a happy visit. We were in and out of there after a 1-hour wait. I had other places to be. But, it turned out, so did my treating oncologist. I saw another doctor instead. Was she an intern? A new member of the gyne-oncology team? I forgot to ask. Wish I did. She was kind, and did an interesting exam, pinching the skin on the back of my hand and all the other stuff (except one minor uncomfortable thing). What does that indicate? She asked me questions and wrote nothing down. Do the things I report get recorded anywhere? Or do they just satisfy some curiosity and then they go back to the chart and write “patient ok” or something?

As I mentioned my gyne-oncologist was running an hour late. For a day of scheduled patients, this seems a bit much. The doctor asked if I was ok with Dr W not coming in to see me. At the time, I thought: “No problem. She’s clearly running late. If she doesn’t want to come in to say hi I totally understand.” At six am this morning, however, I had a change of heart. A hello to her in her day of hundreds of patients is quite a lot more to me as my 3-month check up still within the first six months following chemo. I know I ask a lot of questions, and last time I was bit of a mental case, but I wanted to show her I was doing so much better.

I also want to know: does she even look at the CT scan, or does she just read the radiologist’s repot? Is someone taking a second look? Can I see the CT scan and have her show me what all the globs on the screen represent? Can I get a CD of the scan and have someone else show me? Or take it to someone else for a second opinion?

I’m feeling a little under-serviced, here.

***

More great news: tomorrow I leave for 32 days in the Bahamas! I am going to a yoga retreat and will be undertaking the yoga teacher training course. This is not for a career change – I return to work in June. But I have been practicing yoga with fervour since February, as it was the best thing to ease my physiological side effects from treatment. It has been great for back pain, aching and stiff muscles and joints, neuro-agitation, increasing strength and stamina, and generally feeling about ten years younger.

I want to learn more about yoga so that I can design a program for myself that better suits my needs. I also want to be able to help other cancer survivors with their rehabilitation through yoga, so I intend to offer to teach wherever the opportunities arise. It seems yoga- teacher cancer survivors are not necessarily the ones teaching yoga to cancer survivors. I’d like to be part of that new trend!

Now, for a picture from the cruise: oops, need to update my Cloud first.

4 people like this.
MIchelle, Kathysman sent you a hug.

Congratulation on the clean bill of health! Always great to receive good news. My oncologist is always running behind but I am very understanding of that because when I have things I want to discuss he is very patient with me and doesn’t rush me so I know when he spends extra time with me it makes another patients appointment run behind as well. By all means ask for a copy of the CD with your scans on it. You are entitled to have a copy of all of your medical records. Enjoy your time in the Bahamas with your Yoga class.

 Thank you, Penny! :)

Such happy news! So glad to hear it, but I know exactly what you mean about feeling underserviced. ON some level when that happens to me, I think I try to tell myself, “isn’t it a good thing that I don’t need the doc as much. They must feel I’m well and he/she has to see sicker people.”

Of course, like you described, this doesn’t feel as good later – when the insecurities and doubts have a louder voice inside my head.

Still, take this as a good sign. You’re doing well. Try to quiet those doubting voices—I know, I know, mine never shut up either. I’m still on my personal quest to at least counter them with positive whispers that I always believe more. So far, mere baby steps in this progress. ;)

Bravo on the Bahamas. I think the yoga will put you leaps ahead of me in the inner quiet dept. I must go back to my practice. I hope you can check in once or twice in that 32 days – I’ll miss your posts otherwise!

Bon voyage and namaste. ;)

 Michelle, thank you. You said it exactly! At first I was immensely glad. It was only in the wee hours of the morning that I started to doubt that I was taking care of myself in the context of my health team. It is indeed a good sign that she didn’t need to see me.

I will have my iPhone with me, so hopefully I will figure out an efficient way of posting from it.

Namaste to you as well.

Congratulations! I think some doctors only read the reports as were intetpted by the doctor at the testing facility. Some request copies of the disc, and I like to keep one for myself. I kow my ENT surgeon and RO looked at the discs. Not sure if the oncologist did.

Such wonderful news! I understand that you don’t feel you can take a deep breath of relief yet though. YES by all means get a copy of your CD with the scans. One other suggestion…I know your Dr is busy! We all understand our Dr’s being busy BUT with the questions you have, go ahead and give him a call. I think it will give you peace that will be achieved in no other way. The you head off and have a wonderful and productive time! I am glad you will have your phone with you! I will be watching for you as I always do!
Much love Baby!

Congrats on your great news! I agree with you about being underserviced with the specialists, and feel with all of their associates being involved in the case just makes things confusing, making it so you don’t know what your actual doctor has seen on what he/she hasn’t seen! I just find they are way to busy and cant be as thourogh as they should be.
For instance the neuro surgeon told me my GP would be scheduling an MRI for me in JUly which she agrees with, so then I get a phonecall from the ENTs office telling me they will be scheduling my MRI for November! The more docs the more confusing things get!
I envy you I would love to take a yoga course like that and also feel that a cancer yoga class taught by a cancer survivor would be benificial. I am going to enroll in one here, and the teacher is a survivor so we will see, I am excited about it anyway! Good Luck and have a great time! Hugs Val

5 Months and all is clean, AWESOME. It looks like your on your way, enjoy life to the fullest now.
Cancer sucks, Living doesn’t!

That’s fantastic news! So very happy for you. I know what you mean about wondering how the scans are evaluated. My last one looked so perfect, after having about ten in a row that always showed more cancer, that I worried that it was a mistake. Didn’t think to ask for a 2nd opinion…kind of figured if it was a mistake I was just going to go with it. Enjoy the wonderful results! Ann

Congratulations on all of your progress! You are amazing in how you’re using this cancer crap as an impetus for inner change. You will be an excellent yoga instructor, I’m sure.

I’d call and talk to your doc, just to ease your mind before your journey. That’ll be one less thing to think about.

Happy travels! I look forward to photos!

Danean

Ah well, all you can do now is focus on the clean bill of health and write down these questions and your feelings maybe just print this out and hand it to Dr. W for the next appointment, or maybe mail it to her now! And do nothing but enjoy the Bahamas! We won’t expect any posts while you’re gone…

Wonderful news on you clear bill of health.
The Yoga cruise sounds great. Learn much while you can.
Thought you might be interested—I will be seeing a yoga instructor who specializes in cancer patients and those who had cancer or however that should be worded! I was told she gets the person in a position and then takes a photo so they can see exactly how it should be done when they get home! Sounded good to me. I’ll have a chart of photos (computer printed) to help me remember and not do things incorrect.
Have fun, sandyjo

Congratulations! NED is a wonderful place to live. I hope you’ll keep us posted on how the yoga training progresses.

I always get copies of everything. I agrre with the underserved feeling. Very happy for your good health and aspirations with yoga.

Congratulations on the good news! Enjoy your time in the Bahamas! I’d love to see a bunch of pictures.

also, you mentioned you were curious why she would pinch the skin on the back of the hand, it’s checking hydration levels – it takes longer to snap back into place when you’re dehydrated.

Isn’t it wonderful when good things come in twos? Go for three! Hug, B

Great news! Have a wonderful retreat in Bahamas.

Very good news. Enjoy your trip!

Dear 1, I’m sure you’re having a wonderful time in the Bahamas. ....Ah, I can’t help but think of the show “Enlightened”, staring Laura Dern. I think you’d really enjoy it via Netflicks, or DVD.

I love Helen Marshall’s suggestion to write your doc. It’s probably because I have post Rads vocal problems that I’ve gotten used to faxing questions to my docs.

I had no idea how hard yoga is until I tried doing some beginner videos. Arthritis makes is very difficult, so I’ve got some other body work to do before I can take another stab at yoga.

Thank you for sharing your great news. After all the months of hell, it is wonderful to see you living in this joyful space. You occupy appreciation and gratitude so very gracefully, Dear 1. ...BFAC can never have too much of the beauty of optimism in each day.
Hugs to you, Nicole

Every Breath Is a Gift

Every breath is a gift.

The lungs filling with air is a marvel… the swirl of life, the eddies of sensation. Even little pains and limitations become doorways to discovery. The soul or true self is elusive; chasing it means always coming back to this moment. Returning to the present fear, the present clash of ego with reality, that resistance to peace and joy, these are the challenges that make life an infinite blessing and joyous opportunity.

Opening my arms to this blissfulness, tears come to my eyes and happiness courses through me. I want to share it with everyone; I realize that I do. I am. And everyone shares it, likewise, with me behind the illusion of separation.

This next phase may be the biggest challenge of my life. The scales fallen from my eyes, both pain and grace wash the world anew. Baptized through a brief stint of suffering, I sense how selfish I was, how small and insignificant my cares and worries once were. This is not negative or even a negation. Happily, I accept and then leave behind that old manifestation of what I thought I was, embracing a new day and marvelling at yet another miraculous breath.

Each one is more incredible than the last.

6 people like this.
3 people sent you a hug.

This is incredible. Thank you.

Beautiful. You take my breath away! I’m just so proud of you and the work you are doing!

You have the gift of poetry. A lovely post.

|Palp it’s hard to really put into words how i might understand what you are saying. In my small understanding of words from the dictionary, it would seem to me you are finding a new way to handle your fears with appreciation of the your breath by breath moments. There are always going to be days that are better than most, so having your mood uplifted even for a day is a wonderous experience. We all fall pray to an ebbing tide of emotions. You seem to have a very poetic understanding of what that means. Thanks for your posts.

I am speechless

You are living what my late friend, Sandi, said: “And when you are well again, remember all you have learned along the way.” Awesome, I say—to both Sandi and you. Hug, B







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