1 Very Palpable Hit's Cancer Blog

Cancer Blog Entries Archived by Date

2019 (1)

February (1)

To What Will I Belong?:     Not sure that that I have time left for games and trifles, and yet nevertheless that’s what...

2018 (2)

December (1)

Cancer and Goal-Setting: A young researcher approached me today at the local regional cancer foundation, where I have been pa...

August (1)

Thoughts about Redefining Yourself: One day at a time. Find a reason to get up every morning: some passion, some outlet, something fun....

2017 (4)

September (2)

Leaving Saturday: Well, I'm still waiting for MRI results, but I've decided to dive in anyway and keep swimming... Wi...
Scans are ordered: An MRI of brain has been ordered tomorrow and CT scans of the rest of the body. I was supposed to go...

August (1)

Question to the Community about Second-line Thera: Hi there, friends,   just wondering - have any of you ever declined to receive a second regimen o...

February (1)

Long Overdue Update!: Still here! So, my blood marker was WAAAY up in October - like, more than double what it had been a...

2016 (6)

October (1)

Moments Like These: Moments like these I have no idea what to do. It's not that there is anything imminently wrong - it ...

September (1)

5 months post-treatment for brain met: Stable!!: Hi Bloggers! I am here and happy to be able to say: my latest brain MRI shows NO additional recurre...

March (1)

Radiation Done, Everything is Under Control: Hello!  Cyber Knife radiation was completed last Thursday.  I had three sessions of about 45 minu...

February (3)

Pathology Confirms it's Metastatic: Hi.  Update took a while because my brain does not respond well to stimulation these days.  Easily...
Day 8 Post-Op: I have difficulty sleeping after about 3am. That’s when the alarm goes off for one of the sets of ...
Surgery Jan 30th 2016: I am back.... with that recurrence that had so been terrifying me the last few years.  Turned out i...

2015 (1)

August (1)

4 years... and counting....: Just wanted to add... I'm still here, still living, and all is fantastically great. Love, 1vph ...

2014 (2)

August (1)

Miracles (Had my 3 year anniversary): Today’s date is August 23, 2014!!!It’s actually a miracle that I have made it this far.And it lo...

June (1)

Little Update: Hello! It has been a little while since I last wrote! I have been adjusting to my post-ovarian-cance...

2013 (19)

November (2)

Tests are "Objectively Fine": All is well in diagnostics land.  The doctor (not my usual) said all the test results showed things...
Another Ordinary Day: Randy's post today about how ordinary living and dying are hit me in just the right spot.  I starte...

October (1)

The Worry Diary Concept: We all have our ways of dealing with worries. But when those worries go into overdrive, or when we ...

September (2)

Mini Breakdown Today: September 29, 2013   I had a mini-breakdown in church today.   What triggered it was a convers...
Halfway Through Hospice Training: I have been thinking about how to blog on the training for the hospice volunteer program.  The trai...

August (1)

Volunteering with the Dying: Next week I will start a 4-week training program to work supporting residents of our local hospice w...

July (2)

Still those Sleepless Nights: It always starts about a month before my check up with Oncology.  Even though my conscious thoughts...
A wisp, the fading sun in sky: July 7, 2013 A wisp, the fading sun in sky. I am awash for th’coming morn. Sweet Surge of Hope: ...

May (1)

Meanwhile... Onc Visit: Yes, I had my quarterly checkup ltwo weeks ago.  Everything felt fine, even though they took far mo...

March (2)

Your Posts Were Incredibly Special: I'm kinda taken aback by reading your recent responses.  In being so generous, many of you reminded...
Love to BFACers : I feel bad to still be posting on this site... when I started this blog I was in so much pain, and I...

February (4)

Update: Just a Broken Heart: Hello, all you lovely supporters out there. Well, it's marginally better than I understood on Fri...
Yes, I'm keeping off the Dr Google: And, anyway, making your own almond milk is incredibly time-consuming! My hubby keeps coming home...
Little Bit of Engine Trouble: February 23, 2013 Little Bit of Engine Trouble Work has been going just great; I am so happy a...
Quarterly visit, 14 months post-chemo: Well, I made it successfully through another quarterly visit to the oncologist. Clinical examinatio...

January (4)

An Unusual Encounter: What an experience - to read your own cancer blog from the beginning, with the feeling that it is so...
Sending you love and courage: Hello BFAC Community! I just wanted to write to say that LIFE DOES GET BETTER. It can; we each g...
In Perpetuity: In Perpetuity I haven't posted anything substantial in my blog for a while, and that's probably...
Happy New Year!: Hello Fellow Bloggers, and isn't it great we are all celebrating a new year? Wishing you and your...

2012 (51)

November (1)

Dear Melina and Maplesoft Cancer Survivorship Centre: Dear Melina, I just wanted to thank you for suggesting to me the Positive Thinking Through Self-H...

October (5)

Posted this for Navil today: Happy Sunday! I posted this just a few minutes ago for Navil, who is grappling in a very big way ...
Writing Thought: Thank you all for your generous and kind comments on my last post. I smiled again and again because...
Critical Milestone Reached!: I am breaking out the china, now, instead of breaking the china. I have essentially made it to th...
OK, this is what I'm angry about: Here it comes... I'm angry about everyone who doesn't know what it's like, who think they can com...
Angry Waiting: I have to wait until Friday morning to get the results of Tuesdays scans. I find myself feeling v...

September (3)

Life of a Debulked Woman: It was only after my appointment on Tuesday that I finished Susan Gubar's book, Memoir of a Debulk...
Seeing oncologist next Tuesday: Just a little update.... I've been in contact with my nurse at the cancer center (I actually saw he...
Called Today to Ask to Bump Up my CT: When I saw my gyne-oncologist in August, she offered that I could have the CT then, or wait until th...

August (4)

Finding the Will to Live Again: Recovering these last months, I have started to appreciate a crucial component of healing: finding ...
Worried about Weight Loss: I have been tracking my weight loss for months. Initially, I was feeling victorious over the chemo-...
Goodbye, Cheryl: Last week we lost another cancer fighter to her disease. Cheryl passed on from uterine cancer, supp...
Quarterly Visit with my Oncologist Today: How grateful am I that I always feel so treasured and reassured by my gyne-oncologist? I am so deli...

July (3)

Late Night Reflections on Recovery: I think the medications I was put on during treatment have altered my brain. Sometimes, I have ...
Late Night Reflections on Recovery: I think the medications I was put on during treatment have altered my brain. Sometimes, I have ...
Author of Last Posted Prayer: Since there were so many sweet responses to my last post regarding the prayer I posted, it seemed I ...

June (6)

A Year Ago Today: It was a year ago today that we went to get the results of my biopsy with Dr Corsten. He came i...
Gurumatha Amma is Coming to Bless our Home: I am in a state of shock that Gurumatha Amma, coming to Canada from India, would stop and make time ...
Thanks Everybody: Thanks everybody for their last comments. When I get run down it's hard to avoid negative thought...
Genuine Why-Me Moment: Most of the time I manage to not think "why me," but truth be told I'm having one of those nights. ...
Alternative Treatment for Treatment-related Constipation: Just a quick note for those of you still looking for effective ways of dealing with constipation tha...
Back Home: I've been home a week now following the 32 days at the Yoga Retreat in the Bahamas. My writing ha...

May (1)

5 Months Post-Chemo: No evidence of recurrence or metastatic disease: This is what I expected at yesterday's visit. A clean bill of health. Well, can I say that really?...

April (3)

Every Breath Is a Gift: Every breath is a gift. The lungs filling with air is a marvel... the swirl of life, the eddies...
Back For a Few Days...: Hi Everyone! Just a quick note to say the cruise went well beyond our expectations as the most am...
The Work I've Been Doing: April 4, 2012 I've been waiting a while to post a blog associated with the internal work I have b...

March (6)

New Projects: * Learning to cook Indian-style vegetarian food (I need something with wow-factor once I start showi...
"You have hair, and you can jog further than me, so what gives?": No, no one has actually said that to me, but I feel the weight of the attendant expectation nonethel...
Thank you Everyone: Thanks, everybody, for the comments on my last post! Your sharing in my happiness and healing is a ...
Down with the Big Bad: Yahoo! I don't feel sick anymore. No sir. I think I am actually healthy again, building up streng...
Provisionally Registered for Yoga Teacher Training - in the Bahamas!: Well, I am now nearly registered for the Yoga Teacher Training program to certify me as a basic yoga...
The Pain and Peace of Healing: March 5, 2012 So… for this week, what work shall I do? I witness it for myself and for you. ...

February (8)

Blog as Self-Narrative to Self: You don't have to read this. You certainly don't have to comment on it. This post is not so much a...
Excited for Life and Singing Praises: Today is beautiful. I sang with the choir this morning for the first time in about eight months: ...
Defining My Relationship With This Cancer: I want to be poetic about this, but, unfortunately, that feels a little bit forced. Instead, I will...
Feeling SOOO Much Better!: Hi Everyone! This is just a quick note to say I am feeling so much better this week over last. M...
Some of It Either Doesn't Make Sense or Can't Be Expressed: February 15, 2012 -- “The Greek mythos derives from the verb ‘musteion,' ‘’to close the m...
"You will have to let it go," Dr W said.: Normal nodes, she tells me. I really must not worry so much and check myself all the time, despite ...
Taking Some Quiet Days: Just taking some days of quiet with minimal phone calls taken and emails read or sent. This approac...
Feb 9th Now for F/up: The first three-month follow up subsequent to first-line chemotherapy looms large as a milestone. I...

January (11)

Do all Stage 4s die of their disease?: Or is it just that all those who die of their disease happen to be stage IV?...
A Word on Last Blog Post: Oh yes, I know her intentions were good, and for all that I have kind of blown this out of proport...
Am I boring you? Or just scaring you? Oh - that was just me.: January 27, 2012 I wish I could say “cancer” was not still taking up a substantial part of ...
Back Home: Well, I'm in Canada, heading back to Ottawa tomorrow. First, a quick visit with my sister in Toront...
Happiness is Having Friends: I've had a few comments that my last post was a bit on the downer side. Sorry about that; I didn't ...
I’ve Been Waiting For You: January 17, 2012 Every several weeks I try to search the Pubmed databases for new peer-reviewed r...
To Forget...: Oh, today I have done and continue to want to forget, and forget, and forget... SO, here to assist ...
Mind-Changer: A breath of new life - or life renewed - going away to a whole new world and clime, revisiting life ...
Such Blessings as These: January 10, 2012 Twilight now. A beautiful hour during a snow-hushed winter afternoon. The sm...
Where Did the Days Go?: January 7, 2012 Kathyo asked where I have been, and so I thought I should update my blog. I tend...
Yup, I'm Depressed: Yup, I’m Depressed January 2, 2012 Apparently, some gyne-onc units treat for depression as soo...

2011 (85)

December (11)

Thank You Bloggers: The best thing of the blogs on BFAC have to be the comments and conversation that accompany the blog...
Struggling in Liminal Time: I am tired and emotional. How does one keep up hope when one feels exhausted? I am not there yet...
Merry Christmas, Joy in the World: "--- with us." The candlelight and the voices singing breathe the spirit in and through and betwe...
Head Spinning, Anyone?: Has anyone out there experienced the spins after chemo? It's been going on about a week now. I tho...
BRCA -1 Mutation? Check Your Heart.: Today the local paper discusses recent results of research study involving the BRCA -1 gene. You...
Sending Out Love and Happiness: These nodes above my collarbone really seem to have shrunken! Wow! I just have to say that, and ...
The Place Where Your Life Resides: Even now, it is surreal. The instinct to make it real manifests in all manner of ways: denial; d...
No blood test today, no chemo this week!: And it's a celebratory Monday! How great, it being fewer than two weeks to Christmas and all. Th...
Whoa, Nelly!: Yes, I am doing well. I hope for the same for all of you. My typing fingers have been quiet becaus...
90% Die Within 10 Years: Here is a video blog to increase awareness of ovarian cancer, by Elana Waldman. http://itstimetos...
Bless the Broken Road: Wow, Dec 1st, 2011. I just spent most of the day reading Gemma's cancer blog. Gemma died on Octobe...

November (14)

A Simple Life: Endurance training for life happens one day at a time. A ten minute walk each day shortly becomes...
Lost for a Moment There: Wow. I just looked into my face and my eyes in the mirror and I really, truly, did not recognize my...
(Advent 1) Hope: Awaiting, arriving, and arrived. This shallow pool, this quiet tide. I dream of you, between, ...
Hi Tristan!: Here is a Hello I am sending out to my nephew Tristan. He is my nearly 13-year-old godson, and he c...
That's It! 6th Round of Taxol and Carboplatin!: I had the final dose of this intense combined chemotherapy this morning. Eyes a little hazy, so not...
Tonight We're Singing: Today, Mom, B and I went to the gyne-oncologist, Dr W, for the results of my treatment CT scans. Th...
Being Healed or Made Well: Well, which is it? Do I want to be healed or made well? My minister preached on the distinction,...
Coming Back: I just wanted to tell you all that I'm feeling better today. I think it was so bad because I ha...
Time Stopped, and then Doubled: Talking with my friend yesterday, I realized that nobody else in my life can understand what time is...
Mary's Chocolate Cake, Bev's Soup, and Kim's Stew: Today was a blessed day. I enjoyed the best chocolate cake I or my mom have ever had!!! Mary's Cho...
Still More Hours In Bed Than Out: Recovery is taking longer this time. I find myself doing things like considering how much energy ...
5th was a Whammy: Starting to feel a little better, but still much more fatigued than after previous chemo administrat...
Chemo Update and Some Requests: So we squeaked by chemo #5 yesterday. My neutrophils have been low for several cycles, but there is...
Night of Some Uncertainty: Tonight I'm hoping my neutrophil count goes back up enough that they can give me Chemo #5 tomorrow. ...

October (15)

What Anger?: Today I was informed that anxiety, properly speaking, is considered a fear disproportionate to real ...
Head Down, Butt Up, Sparks Flying!: "Head down, butt up, sparks flying!" This is what Uncle Gary said to me today on the phone. He s...
I am not ok today: And I don't want anybody to call or respond to this. I just want to say that I am not ok. I just...
Quilt of Hope: Last week I was presented with a very special gift. A group of friends we call “the Deltas” d...
The Truth About How I’m Feeling: I’ve been posting little funny and enthusiastic blogs in the past week; but, to be honest, I’m f...
What I'm Going To Miss About Chemo: No, really! This is not a fake list! 1. Great skin. 2. No hair. (Seriously. My wig is so ...
Survived 4th Chemo Last Week...: ... and today I'm feeling much better. Didn't even need a nap - and that's following two naps each ...
Follow-up with Gyne-oncologist Today: Today's appointment went really well. My oncologist was genuinely happy to see me, it seemed, and...
So that I can take care of my family and friends one day: I may not be able to have kids of my own, but all that energy I can send back into the world as a lo...
The Hardest Part ...: ... is watching everyone else's lives carry on, move forward, have cause for celebration and every h...
Suspension: Reflection from Scott Lakes: We are each of us suspended in a mist. Blown across the lake in a haze of beauty, we are also wha...
I feel so good! Chemo #4 tomorrow.: I feel like I will beat this for sure and for good. The hardest next part will be getting back to a...
Heading for Home: It's hard to leave this special space I have enjoyed in Timmins and at Scott Lake. We have enjoye...
Thoughts as I Head into the 4th Chemo Cycle Next Week: I don't have the wherewithal to string together good paragraphs right now, so this will just be do...
Having a Great Time at Scott Lake: Just a note to say the weather has been fabulous and I am having a great time at Scott Lake! I will...

September (16)

Did You Say Tired?: Oh, I've been tired before, yes. After an intense week of travelling and presentations for work, af...
Knocked on Butt: This chemo has knocked me on my butt. You know when you fall after being off balance, and you're ly...
Back from Chemo 3: My head is kind of spinning, my eyes are blurry, and I feel like I can't properly interact with peop...
Philosopher’s Stone: In my normal body, I can usually be quite a systematic and disciplined thinker. Analysis is my ty...
The Big C: I actually watched that show today for the first time. It's not Being Erica, but it may be funny to...
Diagnostics Update: My plans for the day were somewhat thwarted. The gyne-onc unit asked me to go see my family doc to ...
Reflecting the Beauty of the World and Living by the Spirit: Plans for the Day: * Eating cookies for breakfast (ok, that was living by the flesh, but it got m...
Life and Its Big Bad Scary Monsters: I once had an abscess in the back of my mouth, formed around a suture following wisdom tooth remov...
Today's Walk: I'm resting from today's Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope in Ottawa. Incredibly, my husband and I had ab...
Would Love Home Baking: In anticipation of some post-euphoric days; and, given that the previously freezed and donated goo...
Countdown to Cancer Walk!: Well, I am now so excited for the Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope on Sunday! Canadian figure skater Eli...
Did you know they had menopause doctors?: Yeah! Who'd a thunk? Well, I saw one today, and that was an interesting experience and learning op...
Grey and laden: Today is a listless day. My mood is as grey as the air and sky. Descriptive in its non-descripti...
6 Weeks After Vimy: The daisies are dead forgotten, their serendipitous heads long past blinking at the sunshine; black-...
Surviving Post-Chemo #2 Much Better Than #1: Just a quick note to say that all the different meds are working much better this time to keep me sl...
Dream Log :#2 - My Jesus Dream: Today I had a dream, and in that dream, Jesus came to me and was with me. He came to me from a dark...

August (20)

Being Strong Takes Strength: This post gives some idea of how I’m being medically supported to keep my strength up. 10 Med...
Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope: Well, I've decided to do it, whatever amount I can do, and I am pumped about this Ovarian Cancer Wal...
Shaky Day: Blood work done today - I wonder if I've developed anemia. Fatigue has really set in last few days,...
This Week's Mortal Limits: All right, I will admit my positive "I'm doing great" attitude is catching up with me. I think I ov...
Normalizing Cancer: Perhaps it is a good sign I have a boring update. I seem to have normalized this change of life p...
I Think My Hair's Going: My cute little brush pixie cut it starting to look like old Uncle Stan, minus the comb-over and lo...
PARP Inhibitors and BRCA-1 Associated Epithelial Ovarian Cancers: Here is an excerpt describing the mechanism by which this PARP inhibitor drug, currently undergoing ...
Reflections on Compassion and Ontological Security: Armed with a day of sunshine, a drive to a distant village with the top down, friendship, song, la...
This is my life now.: Today I ventured another foray into the National Cancer Institute world of published research and fi...
Swift as a Shadow, That Slippery Sleep: Despite a day without naps yesterday and an evening of friend-accompanied prayer, meditation, and so...
Coming Up for Air: Whew! That wasn’t so bad, now was it? This is day 5, post chemo treatment number one, and I am f...
So, now typing is hard: If you hadn't noticed by my last doubly-entered post, I seem to be having some coordination troubles...
Chemo Buzz Cut and OMG What Will this Do to Me!: I can't believe how tired I am. It is day 3 (unless we count chemo-administer-day as day 0). Last ...
Chemo Buzz Cut and OMG What Will this Do to Me!: I can't believe how tired I am. It is day 3 (unless we count chemo-administer-day as day 0). Last ...
Back from Hospital Now: Hi Everyone! Thanks for all the messages left for me at home and on the blog today. It's so nice...
Sudden Change of Plan: Chemo to start tomorrow!: Well, I saw Dr W today, and she agreed it would not be advisable to wait 2 more weeks to let this ne...
2 weeks post-op: 13 days post-op today. Outings were possible - we went out to see some family yesterday and to my f...
Bouncing Back in Spirit: Only 11 days post op today. This week has been touch and go, emotionally speaking. Fragile and tum...
Today: Thanks to all of you sending your warm and beautiful messages. Today is a bit of a hard day, so we ...
Healing Well, Eating Often, and Taking Small Walks: Just a note so that those of you with whom I haven't been in contact the last day or so: all is wel...

July (9)

Dream: Chocolate Lip Gloss: I was in the mall, excited to have found the most amazing flavor of chocolate lip gloss. Not only d...
First Hurdle Taken: Words fail me. Only tears are reliable now, the kind that come down silently, in a steady stream of...
Just Another Mid-Summer's Eve: It is the evening before my surgery, the surgery that gets all this cancer stuff moving forward. I w...
Attending Wedding #2 Since "The News": Since those scopes weren't all that bad, and I quite enjoyed watching the roller-coaster ride throug...
Scopes and Surgeries: **Update: Saw the gyne-oncologist yesterday (Wednesday). Surgery now booked for Monday - TAHBSO (u...
Wake Up Calls and Other Mysteries: It is the eve of my first appointment with the treating oncologist - I hope. You see, for something...
Chest CT and Gyne-Onc Scheduled: Hi everyone - just an update. The Chest CT report identified no other suspicious lesions anywhere...
Positivity Unleashed: I really do have some good things to say about my brief vacation with my husband. But, upon return ...
"A hit, a very palpable hit!" (Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2): Welcome to the inaugural entry for my blog, developed to chronicle my progress and fight against can...
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Vital Info

Posts

July 10, 2011

Ontario, Canada

June 15, 2011

Cancer Info

Ovarian Cancer

June 28, 2011

Stage 4

over 6.1

Grade 3

Yes

The losses of my future and a good deal of my present.

You are as much about what you don't do as what you do.

You all do it. :)

Complementary therapies of massage, acupuncture, diet, meditation, yoga, tai chi, prayer, and naturopathic medicine.

supraclavicular (aka scalene) lymph nodes, both right and left; pelvic, abdominal lymph nodes; fallopian tube. Brain 2016

They all want my tissue.

The gift of your presence is especially important.

Seek out all possible solutions.

Accept all the love and support that comes your way and marvel.

November 23, 2011

April 11, 2012

I found a lump in my neck above my collarbone, and I had been having shortness of breath when speaking and exercising. Also tightness of upper chest when exercising.

TBD, Feb 2016 - Brain

Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1242519&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fovariancanada.org%2fWalk-of-Hope%2fHome

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Posts: 171
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